No, really, I'm not

I had the flu for the first time in seven years last weekend. I actually started feeling it come on while driving from my elementary school to my early intervention site, after the fifth grade graduation. I was already feeling tired, since I'd stayed up late the night before finishing progress reports, but about 10 minutes before I reached my destination, I started feeling absolutely horrible. I thought that it might have been because I was hungry, but, after taking a ten-minute power nap in my car and eating a little bit of my lunch, I felt even worse. My co-workers saw how awful I looked and insisted I go home, but I knew that I probably wouldn't be able to make it, seeing as how it's a 50-minute drive. I finally, at the secretary's insistence, laid down on the couch and took a two-hour nap, wherein apparently all of my co-workers decided I must be pregnant.

After my nap on the couch, I finally felt well enough to drive home. I made it home, tried to eat some chicken noodle soup, and felt even worse. The next four days consisted of intermittent extreme nausea (especially the first day and night), fever, migraine, and fatigue. Luckily I had Shweetie on-hand to take care of me, and he did an admirable job, running out at nearly midnight the first day to get me some 7-Up and Saltine crackers. (Although I was really nauseous, I never actually upchucked, which is why I decided I must have had the regular flu and not the stomach flu.)

I finally returned to the land of the living on Tuesday, and worked the rest of the week. However, I still had the racking cough and accompanying mucus. My coughing and hacking was apparently so bad, that upon leaving the restroom one afternoon at my early intervention site, the secretary hissed at me, "Are you pregnant?!" I had to explain that, "No, I was not yakking, I was coughing up some gnarly phlegm, if you really must know."

However, the rumor mill continues to churn. If I had a dollar for every time I've been asked if I'm pregnant over the course of the last couple of months, I would have enough money to eat at The French Laundry again. Short of displaying monthly evidence, what do I have to do to convince the masses that I am not pregnant? Do I LOOK pregnant?!